Tuesday, October 27, 2015

How 'Good Psychopaths' Are Forced To Stop Telling The Truth.


The following article will be about how quietly isolating people and individuals, denying them their rights as human beings, can stunt your ability to grow on an emotional level and stall - or completely stop - your ability to be creative and to continue writing your story.

This article began as a reply to the comment which an Anonymous Reader placed under the article named: "Psychopaths & Needs - Letting Go?" on: Oct. 5 -15, 1.01 PM'. I saw the potential for an article because there was so much I could say, which would take up too much space for a comment and which - more to the point - I wanted my Readers in general to have easy access to reading. So I decided to turn my reply into an article, and here it is...:

Thank you for your supporting words. People may not realize it, but it really can mean a lot also for a psychopath to hear something like what you have written here when they are standing with their backs against the wall, spending almost every second of their waking life at fighting the surroundings' clever ways of attempting to neutralize you - basically kill you, but without actually pulling a trigger, just by refusing you any means of access to medical or surgical aid that could make you a capable and functioning person.

I really do appreciate your gesture. There are times where I'm a the brink of thinking my fight for survival and what I fight for being able to do and do better than ever before, is an illusion, that the world may not be ready after all, and after all, I have already planted the seed and can see it grow in background and on the net here and there, but simultaneously I sometimes feel that I as a person is no longer needed so I might as well let go.

It would be easy to just die - but problem: I want to experience it when I die, and that isn't easily accomplished without accepting a great deal of pain. That would be observable to those who find me afterwards, and I don't want to give them satisfaction of witnessing what they believe to be an evil person having died a painful death, granting them revenge that it ill placed.

Besides, even when I'm at my worst, I still can't let go. The instinct to survive is too strong, and maybe there's an element of the supernatural here also, because: When things really hit the fan I always get that extra something coming out of nowhere but which leads me ahead and onward, out of the situation I was in.

Some of it is of course that when I really have to fight, in the most extreme situations, I suddenly get that fuel by which I thrive: Stimulation. This is also the main weapon used to slowly try and kill me: Depriving me of any kind of input except from what I can find on the internet.

I have now become so bad health wise that I can't even walk to the small shop at the corner of the building in which I live. The pain takes over and makes my muscles refuse to perform the actions I want them to. Within the last two years I've grown around 15 years older and my health issues keep mounting up, new ones coming to all the time.

Funny as it may sound, I have been delegate a team of social workers from the state who are supposed to help me get a better life and help me accomplish the things I want to change, things like getting my health back. But whenever I want help that includes any kind of activity which would actually help me, they decline. In other words, they're only there to witness my life decline. - Ooh, they are very nice, especially one of them has done things no one else in the system of the state has done for me, but it is all aimed at keeping me occupied sitting in my little prison until I die.

I wonder if anybody can believe me when I say that the life I'm having now is a worse experience than the life I had when I was in prison. I never thought this possible, but it's the truth.

Another funny thing: I have realized that there are more low key psychopaths within the state than I thought, and I happen to have one on my case. He's one of the lucky ones who had a good upbringing and who has sailed smoothly through one exciting - and legal - assignment after another, and what's more, I suspect that he knows what he is. But he also understands the unusual extent by which every citizen in this society is being monitored, and after making a simple check I soon found out that he'll not be helping me in any real helpful way, he simply won't risk his job - and thereby his whole future within the borders of this country - by helping someone, despite it is very obvious that he knows I probably am the person who Should be helped the most of all the people he has met, and will meet, via his different works (he regularly changes his jobs to keep things interesting and fresh).

I also know that the one main individual behind the refusals to provide me surgery is very much a psychopath too. However, whether he knows or not (he no doubt knows that he's different), he doesn't know that I am one. He only knows what he believes about me, all of which is pretty much lies and mistaken careless notes that have taken on a life of their own - something that's more common than even I knew until fairly recently within the state, the police and the hospitals and medical systems.

Anyway, I thought I would write a little more than just tell you how much I appreciate hearing that people still are aware that I have something to give. If I could get away from here and thus gain better access to sources for my research, as well as the ability to contact people I cannot contact now because that contact would be intervened and perhaps even made impossible - after all, this country is one of the highest censored in the Western world, and it's surveilance is complete meaning ALL phone and ALL internet activity is being monitored, recorded and put on file, and then sent to the police to go through. It is said that every 500th file that comes in (and they ALL come in, into their system) is being read or watched by the police plus probably their search engines set specifically to look for certain words and phrases plus certain patterns in the text that could suggest a code is being used; things like that.

I will end this article here, but more is to come. I do not intend to stop writing, it's just that I sometimes must spend all my energy at mere survival, plus a depleted mind will have difficulty executing even previously well planned actions - such as the writing the articles about specific subjects which I have now had a which to publish for quite a while since they include aspects that will explain some important things about me and how I came to be the way I was, and the way I now am.

It is very difficult to be creative when you are consistently denied all Civil and Human Rights.

That's why denying certain individuals their rights is being used so often as a means to get rid of elements who's words might create the roots of something that'll grow to become problems of a magnitude that even guns and armies can't silence.

Until next time...!

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I will keep myself as anonymous for right now, however I will say I happened upon your blog this early this morning as I was without sleep and I did a search on blogs about psychopathy and yours immediately caught my attention, and I've been reading it for hours. I am a female, and a diagnosed Psychopath.

Your blog is excellent and very true to form, I see myself in your writings... Not just what you write, but HOW you write in particular! I like your style, and I'm glad you're going to keep writing anyway. I am not in good physical health either, and due to me being diagnosed I am also denied basic civil/human rights. For a society that holds up empathy as the holy grail they sure aren't showing you or myself any!

Keep up the good work, this blog is a huge breath of fresh air for me to be reading. I stopped looking for blogs about psychopathy for awhile as the first blog I came across was SociopathWorld, I thought it was a joke so I didn't bother looking for awhile. Good thing I was curious this morning in my sleepless state!

Anonymous said...

Glad you're back :)

It'd be ironic if it's Norway. Anyhow, Zhawq you're articles and this blog is a trove of knowledgeable treasure. I don't know much of international law, but you're a clever person.

God Bless,
O

darius said...

I have been reading your blog and since I realize your situation is probably tied up to some spinal disease let me recommend you not to take any surgery as they can actually worsen your situation. I know it is hard to believe this but there are people who can manually help you with your problems. I personally know a guy who does this but he is recently hard to come by. I myself am a 17 out of 40 on hare checklist. I would like to know more about your situation and if there is anything that I can do to help you. The reason I am attempting to do this is because I know that nobody deserves torture, not even worst torturers themselves.

Anonymous said...

If your problem is spinal, don't operate it. That can screw up your situation even more. If you can say more about your situation I could try to do something to help you. Nobody deserves torture, not even worst torturers.

Darius

Anonymous said...

I really appreciate you responding to my comment by posting an article.
Thank you Zhawq for that.
btw Some of your regular readers who don't follow you on twitter may miss your latest articles as your link from google shows the last being in June 2015:
www.psychopathicwritings.com/
A blog about life as it is experienced by a diagnosed psychopath.
‎Contact me - ‎June 2015 - ‎May 2015 - ‎April 2015

Anonymous said...

Interesting site; it's like hearing from the voice of cancer cell of a person who has cancer. I guess attention anyway you can get it is still attention - right?!! And you get to double down with the victim stance with the illness. Are you aware your thoughts make you sick?!! Start there. Once you get past your Duper Delight, which probably won't be in this lifetime - you just might stand a chance. Hint: those well-meaning social workers are doing exactly what they know to do and you wouldn't recognize genuine in a fart- so get out of your own way???...ya, right! Take care, li'l buddy. Blooggg on!

Anonymous said...

Are You From sweden?

Zhawq said...

Anon, Oct. 28. -15, 5:53 AM.

Part 1.

The first time I read texts written by someone who said they were a psychopath I was very puzzled to say the least, for everything she said about how she felt - of did not feel (with a few exceptions), were almost like reading about myself.

I remember leaving a comment writing that if she was a psychopath, then I was too, because what she wrote was almost word to next how I thought and felt, and by the way, she was the first person to ever do that and that fascinated me. But I had no doubt that it was all very normal, just not spoken about by most people because they wouldn't or couldn't admit those sides of themselves. Still, if she was a psychopath, then so was I, and I was absolutely sure that I was NOT a psychopath.

At the time I didn't know her gender, for obvious reasons she kept that a secret until she published a book. I had already had my thoughts about that aspect and had concluded that she was female, but for as long as she never said so, I didn't take it for granted. So when I found out about this, it hit me how alike we were in spite of being different in gender.

I have since corresponded with people who said they'd noticed a certain form by which we express ourselves that seems to defy gender. And after giving it some thought I think the reason is that we don't catch on to mainstream social standards one of which is how each gender expresses themselves.

It doesn't mean we can't mimic the gender we're given, on the contrary we appear to be very good at it, it's when we "take off the mask" that it becomes apparent, plus the listener or reader will probably have to have a certain level of knowledge about our minority and be focusing on learning more, on 'studying' us when they communicate with us, in order to notice this aspect of similarities psychopaths in between. - Doc. Robert Hare expresses it by saying we have either very few idiosyncrasies or none at all.

I find this to be true. I have some, but I have chosen them consciously because I liked the effect they have and what they are representing. But that isn't real idiosyncrasies, just typical adopting the behavior that works best for you - and sometimes you're simply adopting some of the behaviorism of a person that fascinates you and who you respect.

..........

If you are denied medical help and civil rights because of your diagnosis or merely for being different and therefore unwanted, it makes me wonder where in the world you reside. It can happen in the US, but it's rare because the individual have ways of seeking compensation and justification independent of what their diagnoses are or which crimes they have committed in the past.

So I have to assume - as a first guess, anyway - that you live in Europe. Still, even in Europe it isn't the norm. Maybe Eastern Europe who still functions in accordance to some of the standards of the communist era.

I certainly DO hope you don't live where I live... or... I just got a thought: If you live in these parts, we could perhaps do together what is almost impossible to do alone. Just the sense of not being completely isolated among sheer enemies at all sides, can work wonders. - But it's just a thought, of course.

But seriously, though, do you have any plans about changing your situation? Do you know if it's possible?

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 28. -15, 5:53 AM

Part 2.

Quote:
"For a society that holds up empathy as the holy grail they sure aren't showing you or myself any!"

Very true. Except, if you look closer - at least where I am at - you'll find that what they value most of all is:

1. - Order. Order in every form, even walking across the street when the light isn't green can result in complete strangers shouting at you that you aren't allowed to cross the street - and it matters nada that it may be a completely deserted little side street. For the same reason is various uses of the word Order - Orderly, In Order, Being Orderly, Speaking Orderly, Behave Orderly, do things Orderly, etc etc - the most often used and heard word particularly in later years.

2. - Doing what you're told, and Doing your job. <- This is the perfect excuse for doing nothing to change things when you watch your neighbor being mugged, or raped, or help hostage in their own home. Yet they're very proud of their blind obedience.

..........

If you feel like it or think anything could come of it, send me an email so we can correspond privately.

And if you choose not to take me up on my invitation, I wish you the best of luck. I can't give in, I must fight on, I hope you'll find a way out of the situation you're in.

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 28. -15, 8:46 PM,

It's really good to hear that you're glad to see me back. I would write much more if it wasn't because of a lot of private problems that tear away at my energy and ability to focus.

I am very often too frustrated and angry to write. I wish it wasn't so, but right now there isn't much I can do about it. Still, I promise I won't stop for as long as I can publish at least once in a while, and I still have plans to escape this place and get back my freedom to choose how I want to live.

You mention Norway, and I think I can understand why. But as much as sometimes want to, I can't tell you where I reside just yet. I may not be revealed before I get a book published, but that too requires me to get out of this little sesspool of misery - not only for me, but for most of the population as well. The leaders are just very good at keeping the truth hidden and the population in complete darkness.

I don't know why, but for some reason the international societies who are meant to make sure that laws such as the Human Rights, Freedom of Speech, Right to Medical Aid, etc, get followed and respected, close their eyes to what is going on here. Any fool can see that there must be something we common people don't know (at least not for certain) in order for this to be allowed to continue, but the Human Rights organizations such as f.ex, Amnesty International has been on this country's back for several decades. I have spoken to some of them, and they are very aware of how serious it is with the neglecting of human and civil rights here, but they can do nothing except keep writing protest mails and letters to the government, and so far they've accomplished only one thing: They're being ignored and not even shown enough respect to be given even a short formalized reply or answer. Just... Nothing! This is how sure this government is that nobody will interfere with their affairs.

Their constant remark is: "It's an internal issue and about national security, so we have the right to do as we see fit".

- In other words, they say what Captain Picard (played by Patrick Stewart) in the Star Trek series correctly termed:

"It's the age old cry of the oppressor".

How well said.

Zhawq said...

I have to take a pause... I've been awake for many hours and is very worn out now. But I'll be back sometime tomorrow to reply to more comments.

Until then, guys... '^L^,

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about that. However, if I'm not wrong, the government is obligated to make healthcare and medical treatment available to you. That's your human rights, and it can't be denied even if you have committed a crime. I'm not sure what you can do in a Northern European country, but in most other countries (that i know of), denying an inmate medical treatment is "cruel and unusual punishment", and I think you can sue the prison if the denial of adequate medical treatment leads to an even more severe health issue or disability. I'm not sure about that, but you can ask someone about it. Hope you can get the surgery you need. God bless.

Alex

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 28 -15, 8:46 PM,

I've written an article in reply to your comment. I've been thinking about doing so anyway for quite some time, and now that you asked me outright about my medical problem I thought it might be as good a time as any.

You're always welcome to ask more questions, of course. '^L^,

Zhawq said...

darius, Oct. 29 -15, 6:01 PM

I've replied to the first part of your comment in the newest article named "Psychopathic Ruled Countries".

"I myself am a 17 out of 40 on hare checklist."

Isn't it ironic that this might under some circumstances give you the diagnosis if you lived where I currently live? It's absurd, of course, but the newest book on the subject written by a female psychologist with some sort of expertise on this subject believes the limit should be lowered to 15.

"I would like to know more about your situation and if there is anything that I can do to help you. The reason I am attempting to do this is because I know that nobody deserves torture, not even worst torturers themselves."

I agree that nobody deserves being tortured by people who don't know them and whom they haven't harmed in any way. This even more so if it's a person who wants to - and it able to - make up for what he has done, at least very much so from a societal perspective. But I can also see why what I can help with is unwanted in this particular country because I'm far too international, far too American - their "big, bad wolf" and boogeyman.

The only thing that anybody can help me with is a place to stay for a while until I get economically back on me feet. As long as I live here my money are frozen overseas and I'm as poor as a sewer rat, so I can't even afford the cheapest motel right now.

Thank you for being considerate. '^L^,

Zhawq said...

Anon, Oct. 30 -15, 9:21 AM

"I really appreciate you responding to my comment by posting an article.
Thank you Zhawq for that."


You're welcome, it was a pleasure and I'm glad that you found it worth reading.

"btw Some of your regular readers who don't follow you on twitter may miss your latest articles as your link from google shows the last being in June 2015:
www.psychopathicwritings.com/
A blog about life as it is experienced by a diagnosed psychopath.
‎Contact me - ‎June 2015 - ‎May 2015 - ‎April 2015"


Yes, I'm aware of this but had initial problems with finding out how to link the blog to Google+. Somehow I got it done - after much googling about the matter - and then suddenly nothing showed up anymore. I've tried googling again but haven't found anything that appeared helpful.

If anybody else who reads this have blogs/websites and have linked them to Google+ I will be grateful to hear how you made that happen. Thank you in advance.

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 31 -15, 9:44 AM:

"Interesting site; it's like hearing from the voice of cancer cell of a person who has cancer."

Interesting association.

"I guess attention anyway you can get it is still attention - right?!!"

If it was all about attention, let me assure you that there are much easier ways to get that, and more than I get presently.

"And you get to double down with the victim stance with the illness."

Double down? I'm afraid you'll have to spell that one out for me, I don't understand what you're getting at.

"Are you aware your thoughts make you sick?!!"

I am very aware that thoughts can make you sick, but if you're thinking of the thoughts I have in my present situation I can only say that it is obvious that you don't quite understand where I'm coming from. Few people would survive as long as I have AND have turned negativity around to positive intention all while being systematically de-humanized, having my human rights ignored, and even having covert attempts made to make me more and more ill, maybe even die. I can't prove any of it, but after a certain number of years you begin to see patterns when it's no longer possible to ignore them and remain realistic. - But I fear words like that are wasted on you, not necessarily because you think I'm lying, but because you wouldn't be able to believe that things like that are being done in countries that appear to have great respect for human life and all that.

"Start there."

It is where I am. It is where I have been for a long time.

"Once you get past your Duper Delight, which probably won't be in this lifetime - you just might stand a chance."

I see you don't understand me at all, but I don't blame you. I think you're probably with the majority of people who also don't understand. Yet, things are happening, and maybe, just maybe, we will see positive changes within our life time.

"Hint: those well-meaning social workers are doing exactly what they know to do and you wouldn't recognize genuine in a fart- so get out of your own way???...ya, right! Take care, li'l buddy. Blooggg on!"

Actually, my friend, I am generally better at recognizing genuine than many normal people are. But this isn't even about genuine - and by the way, I know plenty of genuine social workers who honestly want to help. I never claimed any different.

I choose to not go into this any further with you, because I think if it was possible for you to look past the psychopath stereotypes you would have understood already (I've written plenty about it, after all, though I admit I've mostly mentioned the things that are wrong).

But thanks for your input, it's good that people like you also take the time to leave a comment now and then, that way I have a better impression of the whole scale of meanings about the subjects that I discuss.

Zhawq said...

Anon Nov. 1. -15, 12:26 AM

"Are you from Sweden?"

I can't answer your question at this point. But let me say that I can understand why you get the association. '^L^,

Tom Arrow said...

15 on Hare as the limit? That person must be a saint. And immensely boring.

Zhawq, have you seen the movie 13 Assassins? The idea to go out of this life through an honorable death, by the hand of a worthy foe or cause. It mesmerizes me.

Why not go out with one big blast?

Anonymous said...

It is not about psychopaths only. It is about all people.
You are too auto-erotic to see the reality.

Zhawq said...

Tom Arrow, Nov. 5. -15, 2:08 PM

"15 on Hare as the limit? That person must be a saint. And immensely boring."

Hare's PCL-R has it that 30 and above makes you a psychopath. But he has a screen version with fewer points, and on this the limit is 15. I think it goes to 24.

"Zhawq, have you seen the movie 13 Assassins? The idea to go out of this life through an honorable death, by the hand of a worthy foe or cause. It mesmerizes me."

I haven't seen it, but if I get the chance I certainly will. It sounds interesting. Of course, today it would be hard to find a 'worthy foe', lol.

"Why not go out with one big blast?"

What do you have in mind?

Zhawq said...

Anon, Nov. 20. -15, 2:08 PM

"It is not about psychopaths only. It is about all people.
You are too auto-erotic to see the reality."


I don't understand what you mean. Could you explain a little further?

Tom Arrow said...

'What do you have in mind?'

I can not speak for you, but I would like to see the world burn a little. Maybe a bomb in a tax office or something like that. A little revolution.

Always depends on what is important to you, right?

Revenge could also be a motive, as it is for the rampagers.

Zhawq said...

Tom Arrow...

What do I have in mind? Just a little elaboration to explain in more detail what you meant by those words, and you provide that here.

You're right, something of that nature will of course depend on what is important to me personally, but the thing is that deeds like those that you describe here seem almost mundane to me, they've been done too many times by too many people.

I honestly can't come up with something that would create a message that the world would understand or even try to understand as something other than a the action of a madman that nobody can ever understand because he's simply evil and that's that.

Maybe that's why I cling to life... or one of the reasons why I do it... because I've come to the conclusion that the only way I can reach people and make them understand is by speaking their language. And it's too late anyway, I've already taken the steps across the gap that divides us as human varieties and I'm no longer the same simplistic psychopathic individual who didn't even know that I had the traits nor how significant the psychopathic neurological make up is for my personality and development.

But there's something more that I may not have made clear in my latest texts: I no longer think there's no way out of my situation.

And this is rather typical for me throughout my life, that when I find myself in situations that appear to be impossible - f.ex. which have doomed me to spend the rest of my life in a 9x4 foot prison cell in solitary confinement with no possibility for ever getting a chance to leave that situation and that cell, then something will come up and turn things around.

I may not always see how much my situation can change, at least at first, but I do see that there's a chance that things will get better and if I am alert and use the opportunities that fate puts on my path, it may in fact mean that I can become completely free and get a new chance to grow, to renew myself, and to build a completely different life than how I used to live.

I have mentioned in earlier articles that I'm a magical thinker (as are many psychopaths), and I seriously believe that everything happens for a reason. I have no illusions of a greater g0d having plans for me outside of what I create in my own psyche, but that doesn't matter. What Does matter is that it has always worked.

And, to return to the topic at hand: I have once again found possibilities. I don't know if they hold water, but I have to try them out before feeling as trapped again as I did only 10 days ago.

I admit that I felt somewhat hopeless when it came to my relationship with my Readers, for I felt that if even they wouldn't believe me and I had no way of proving I'm telling the truth, then ...well, then... it simply hurt very badly, and yes on an emotional level. You guys are the first people I have build something like a real and honest two-sided rapport with, and I have been worrying that this rapport was an illusion on my part - that at the end of the day my Readers still only saw a psychopath and therefore a liar... a stereotype, all in spite of the work I have done through the last five years to show you through consistency and logically explainable facts that I am so much more than that.

But even that may change. If you follow my writings over the coming weeks you'll find out exactly why I'm saying these words.

And I'm sorry, but I just don't fit the simple model of a psychopath who places a bomb somewhere because he's fed up with everything and wants to make a statement. I never really did fit that stereotype, Tom. But I understand and appreciate why you asked the question. '^L^,

Tom Arrow said...

Zhawq, that makes a lot of sense.

Just to clarify, I did not propose that because you are a psychopath, but simply because it seems like the intuitive thing to do when there is no more way out. But obviously, that is not your kind of thing and you also now see a way out, so that is that.

Ever notice that successful people often are paranoid of haters? If I could abstract it, I would say that people who become known for something particular, become paranoid in thinking that everything somebody tells them is just about the thing they became known for. They think that others want to destroy their 'hard work' when they say 'dude, that is a shit photograph'. But the truth is, how often do normal friends tell each other that their work is shit? It is called banter.

As for the magical thinking, I share that a bit and then again I do not. I have not yet cleared my mind up enought to understand that part of myself. What I do believe, though, is that you attract into your life exactly that which you really want. Sometimes it is not clear to one's self why one wants something that looks pretty bad on the surface.

As for proving you are much more than that, just let me say you created a blog where you primarily identify yourself as a psychopath, so you kinda chose the joke there. Had you called it 'Zhawq's blog' and occasionally mentioned that you are a psychopath. But oh well, I am getting into technicalities. This is definitely better marketing. I admit that I bought into the psychopath stereotype. Then again, I am not even sure where it comes from. Is it intuition or indoctrination? I think it is a little of both. The knowledge that somebody empathizes and is at least somewhat restricted by shame and guilt makes for a feeling of safety that allows oneself to trust enough to open up for rapport. It is not so much a judgment of you as a person as a judgment made for one's own safety. The point is, no matter how good you are, there is no emotional reason for you to not become 'evil' again, which makes you different from most (non-hyper-conscious) people.

Looking forward to your upcoming articles. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Hey there,

I'm a scientist, but also the personality type who experiences extreme empathy (to the point of mirror-touch synesthesia) and thus is often called an "empath", but I also have an ability to dial this down and be clinical and detached about things. Because of this, I've been able to connect with both warm and cold people in different ways my entire life. Perhaps due to some run-ins fairly early on in life, I'm extremely fascinated by autism and Cluster B disorders. I've always been able to connect with cold and clinical and warm and empathic people essentially equally well, and since late teens it was my suspicion -- not a sentimental one -- that there must be ways for cold, clinical people to learn to be prosocial and essentially "good", but that they would do it in a much more rational, logical way rather than by the auto empathy that people like me learn good and bad from in a knee jerk manner. (I remember the first time at 2 or so that I saw my mom cry and I started hurting for her, realizing that other people, adults, had emotions -- and that I wanted her to feel better, I wanted to care for her -- which also struck me as ironic since she is my parent and thus my caregiver.)

I know there are some people who for reasons beyond their control do not have such experiences to look back and frame all further "good" and "bad" from; indeed they may not be capable of experience as such, but that does not mean that they actively start out wanting to harm others. They simply cannot learn that harm is ...eh, harmful -- in the same way that most human children are pre-wired to learn.

Anyway. Basically I want to say that I think what you are doing here is extremely important, and will help people in the future. Some of what you admit to from your past disturbed me quite a bit (and some of your understanding of females may need some polish-- referring to a girlfriend as "my woman" for example amongst other possessions is rather brusque, and normally classed as as misogynist but I do not think you meant it as such), but I think your admissions are crucial for getting your points about psychopathic experience across, and reading along I tend to see mostly pro-social and helpful material on this blog. I admire and respect you for putting all of this forward. It strikes me as very legitimate, and will help people with low empathy understand what is going on with their ability to relate to others, and help people who do have empathy (as limited as empathy sometimes is, sigh) understand the experiences and emotional starting point that lead some people to become antisocial.

I hope psychologists are reading.

Cheers,
~ Scientist Gal

Anonymous said...

In response to Scientist Gal^

Hi, I am a little bit like Zhawq....I write online about psychopathy to spread awareness amongst other psychopaths and to foster understanding in others. My online name is Jay Jones, I am a psychologist in training. Anyhow, I wanted to respond to what you wrote..

I have met people like you before, and they have been some what acceptable to my taste... it would seem odd to some they have become understanding allies. That said, I would like to help you understand something a little better.

Quote;

'I know there are some people who for reasons beyond their control do not have such experiences to look back and frame all further "good" and "bad" from; indeed they may not be capable of experience as such, but that does not mean that they actively start out wanting to harm others. They simply cannot learn that harm is ...eh, harmful -- in the same way that most human children are pre-wired to learn.'

Your assumption about such experiences and how they shape a psychopath is incorrect. We, I, others, have had quite similar early childhood experiences, but instead of it being spontaneous it has been chosen. If you read some academic articles of the last decade that talk about an "empathy switch" of sorts in psychopaths, apply this with the understanding that we are far more neutral and positive when young and more likely to apply this chosen empathy. It will also reinforce positive prosocial relationship connections and perceptions as it did you....but then overlay an understanding of the shallow and fleeting emotionality and attachment to others that we possess with this scenario. It is there but it is never enough to be prioritised over ourselves. It is not enough for us to take on emotionally warm and fuzzy perceptions and values for the long haul that don't sit firmly with an unemotional evaluation of the facts of the matter( though we do possess some cognitive distortions based on emotional preference).

Good and bad is another matter altogether.

Enjoyment in harming others is high in psychopaths, but not uniform. Not all of us are sadistic, but on the whole it is more likely we will make that association in our development. Your comment about psychopaths not learning that it is harm...is only partially correct....this only applies at a very young age when our cognitive ability to deduct is not well developed yet in the particulars of a situation....mirror neurons are not necessary for such learning per se. And the meaning we derive from those experiences would depend on who was being hurt and the individual meaning to us....rather than a more blanket emotionally empathetic response typical of other people.

Happy hunting, Jay