Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Psychopaths & Needs - Letting Go?


A Reader left a Comment here at PsychopathicWritings.com, and the Reply I wrote in Response became so long that I eventually decided to write an Article with basis in his comment which is about Choices, particularly Spiritual and Psychological Choices, and he has A Very Interesting Suggestion to Psychopaths who are experiencing what is probably not exactly a Depression, but which is The Closest I think a Psychopath can get to Experiencing an Actual Depression.

In the following I quote the Reader and give my Personal Views and Answers to the Various Ideas Discussed in This Article.

..........
I was thinking. All those conspiracy-thoughts. They are a never ending. A sea of possiblities. Twist one, a new one surges.. Aren't most of them a persons need to feel as if he/she has some control. I think so.
Yeah, I guess that's what it is, motivated by fear, of course. People want to feel that they understand and know exactly what's going on. They're mostly childishly laughable, though. If this sounds unfamiliar to anyone, visit any bar between 5 PM and 5 AM. Or go to one of all the meetings that evangelists and what not advertises on the local TV and radio channels (at least in the US - but definitely not where I'm at now. Here there's only the local bar).
Radical acceptance, would suggest to let go of that need, since one cannot know anyway.
You can't let go of a need. If you could let go of it, it wouldn't be a need. But you can let go of false needs, and there are a lot of those floating around. Still, the need to feel some level of control is linked to survival, that's why that particular need will never go away, and those who have the means and the power uses this to their advantage. Even the programs and speeches that has the aim of getting someone or some party into power of some sort plays on this fear of everything that is slightly untraditional and unfamiliar by painting it in the colors of the current culture's idea of 'evil' - often completely anachronistic, but that doesn't matter because it all works via the subliminal, that which the mainstream population is not quite aware of - because they spend their mental energy on making themselves hyper aware of what they're fed by the popular media.

Thus we blame the individual for eating sugar filled nutrient drained fast food instead of blaming the companies for making that food available to those who can't afford the higher quality foods. We only see the one side, the individual who consumes the bad food and we buy the easy explanations, "he's lazy", "he eats all day", "why don't he go to the gym instead and eat green veggies" etc. etc. And while the questions are legitimate enough, they're one sided, there's more to it, and blaming the weaker part for having caused a bad situation is absurd.

Since when did the weak have the power to create a bad situation that the strong did not want?

But it's convenient to believe that's how it is. Just let go of that need of a meaningful life where you have a meaningful role to play, then you'll not need to over eat ever again. - But as I said above, that need is there for a reason, and you can't let go of a need because it is part of your existential metabolism, so to speak.

One can know a lot of things, and merely accepting and not even trying to understand will not help us either. I think the truth is somewhere in between. You can know some things, but you also have to accept that you can't know it all and you never will. The truth is a little bit different each time you change perspective, and you do that constantly while you live, just as each individual has a slightly different perspective from the next - both having perspectives that constantly changes while they live. It's impossible to know it all, you would have to be the almighty g-d that the Christians and Muslims talk about. He's their excuse for trying to force their beliefs upon others.

And by the way, do you know what they love to do when a newly reformed believer has a crisis? They tell him to just put his faith in g-d, or whatever is their holy deliverer, and otherwise accept that he doesn't understand why this particular belief is the only true way to salvation.
What are they really good for. I'd suggest not very much.
What are the conspiracy theories good for? Why they're only good for making the individual feel a false sense of safety or security in that he thinks he knows it all. And if we take every aspect into consideration, it can save a person's life if perhaps temporarily, just until he's regained enough inner balance to be able to continue his life without borrowing a false sense of security from any conspiracy theories.
Maybe I, maybe you, maybe other, we all should focus more on what we can do something about.
Now you're talking. This is what I've been saying all along, so we do agree about something essential. This is also why testing theories and do research is always good (for as long as you don't mistake the results for final truth) because you never know when it'll bring you new knowledge which again will allow us to do something about something that really needs to be done something about. I think that's what keeps most researchers and people, who has that strong, fundamental curiosity which reaches (far) beyond himself, going.
What we can improve. Ourself. Maybe one can improve by letting go of the need to find solutions and outcomes. To trust. Have faith. I don't know.
Thoughts ?
You already know what I think about giving up trying to find new ways, solutions and outcomes.

About trust and faith I can't say so much, at least not in the same sense that I hear about them from other people - scholars and religious sources, i.e. But I guess I have some sort of inner belief in myself, otherwise I would've been dead already. Something keeps me going and something keeps me going even when there seems to be absolutely no way out. I think it's at least in part because I can't stop searching, and I always somehow learn something new which is of significant importance... at least enough so to get me further and back on track.

There have been times in my life where I learned things that I would recant and turn down immediately if I came upon them today. But I have no regret about having learned these things, or even that I believed in them for a while, because they are part of the whole which makes up the reason why I'm where I'm at - mentally speaking - today. And I honestly wouldn't want to be any place else where that element of my existence is concerned. My wish for change is purely geographical-political and cultural, because these factors at this particular place on the globe makes up a constellation that is close to impossible to get free of once you've been written into their extensive registry of what makes up their world and their reality... their good and bad.


I didn't think it possible, but I have just very, very recently had the absolutely lowest low with regard to how I felt about life and my chances to bounce back. I have never experienced anything like it, and though I've read and been told about something like this happening to other psychopathic individuals, I kept have a strange feeling that they were fooling with me because surely that could not be true.

To my regret I even posted a blog comment once (not on my own blog, but that almost makes it worse) in which I stated that the very idea of a depressed psychopath made me giggle. The comment was posted in reply to a psychopath who posted a short notice where he told us all - without the slightest drama or manipulative phrases - that depression among psychopaths does occur. - Maybe he reads this article, who knows. If he does, he now knows that his post wasn't for nothing even though nobody except myself replied or reacted to it at the time, and even though that reaction of mine was pure refusal to believe it could be true.

Some people will perhaps argue that I must've met depressed psychopaths in prison. And yes, I did meet some, not many, just a couple. But I never thought it was much more than an act. I remember one who got electroshock therapy (yep, this country also has the world record in use of that method to cure the mentally ill, particularly the depressed), and I witnessed him walking about like a zombie - only twice because he was mostly kept isolated in his cell which he apparently didn't care either way about. Indeed he didn't seem to care much about anything. I also never had any opportunity to talk to him, and the other guy I only spoke to a few times in passing before his depression apparently became so serious he had to be retained in his cell as well and no longer took part in the so called group therapy sessions we had in that period (a period that lasted two months).

I think it may also be okay to mention that during those years I didn't have any particular knowledge about psychopaths in the way that I do now, and I certainly did not believe that I myself was a psychopath. There were some others I also didn't believe were psychopaths, they each shared that belief about themselves and also had some other traits that stood out which were much like certain fundamental aspects that I acknowledge to be part of my own personality makeup (but that's a topic I'll discuss in more detail in future article).

Most of all, I did not take the concept of psychopathy serious. I saw it as a label the system used to categorize people they couldn't find anything else wrong with, but whom they could see and hear weren't like your average person, plus most importantly, who refused to accept dogma that seemed unfounded, unreasonable, ridiculous, suppressive, and so on.


But, the short of the long: The deep depression-like low that I have experienced in very recent time, and written about a few articles back, seem almost incomprehensible to me now that I've beaten it. I beat it with very simple methods: I realized that I had to use the little money I had saved up to use for surgery and/or leaving in the future. I had to use them to go and buy some decent food and get some gym work out, because if I didn't, there would be no chance to get surgery or to leave because I would be... in a state that made either of these actions impossible (I would be dead or too sick to do anything).

So yeah, I'm back, ready to try once more. And it wasn't because I let go of any hope or wish for my future, quite the contrary. I was considering giving up hope, which would've meant my death because hope is what keeps man alive when there's nothing else.

On the other hand I don't want you to misunderstand me. I think what you suggest can be used but only by certain people who have it in them to completely detach all sense of fundamental connection to this world. I don't claim to understand it, but I know there are spiritual paths followed by large groups of people in India which base their practice on the teaching that hanging on to anything of this world, be it expectations, belongings, ambitions, in some groups even love to another person should be let go of...

And we have all the branches of Buddhism. I'm not sure if what you mention has any ties to Buddhism, but I studied Buddhism for a while when I was a lot younger than I am now, and I eventually had to realize it wasn't for me and I couldn't believe in the teachings.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

How do psychopaths get their needs met if their geographical-political and cultural feels like it is working against them? Does this make one withdraw into a more individualized thinking pattern?

Anonymous said...

Now you're talking. This is what I've been saying all along, so we do agree about something essential. This is also why testing theories and do research is always good (for as long as you don't mistake the results for final truth) because you never know when it'll bring you new knowledge which again will allow us to do something about something that really needs to be done something about. I think that's what keeps most researchers and people, who has that strong, fundamental curiosity which reaches (far) beyond himself, going.

Isn't that sentence in bold your life ?
You are describing pretty much a non-criminal psychopath. Actually, some of the scientific experiments throughout history are absolutely rather psychopathic.
Curiosity killed the cat

So... What's the difference again ?

Anonymous said...

Personally I think ASPD is a better description.

The future of the psychopathy diagnosis.

They will discover (when "psychopaths" are tired of playing dumb), that it was nothing else, but at person with well above level of intelligence and of testosterone, as the biological foundations. Then throw in some bad experiences. Childhood, war..

Another question

What is the difference between a non-criminal psychopath and a very independent personality type (as modern feminism value so much)

Just behave ! :)

Anonymous said...

On further thoughts, my suggestion was probably closer to sociopathy.

What if I subtract intelligence. Instead choose another variable or add on.
Pain. Some people just have extremely high tolerance. We had one kiddo in my hood. Fell of bikes, fell of mountain clips while climbing up or down, broke a bone.. Nothing seemed to bother him. Never cried. Bullied a lot. Laughed if we cried. (Sadism kind of). But in a way, as if it was just totally impossible for him to understand the pain inflicted and as if he was curious about that thing. "Why do they cry ? Weird.."... Rumors are that he was sent around to labs, as a child. Of course you would know that. That is how it goes, some parts of the world (rumors are also that he managed to turn it all around and function very well later in life. Everyday in a while, one could spot that potential as a kid. Or was it the seducers/medicine. ADHD++++ it def. was)

Anonymous said...

But, the short of the long: The deep depression-like low that I have experienced in very recent time, and written about a few articles back, seem almost incomprehensible to me now that I've beaten it. I beat it with very simple methods: I realized that I had to use the little money I had saved up to use for surgery and/or leaving in the future. I had to use them to go and buy some decent food and get some gym work out, because if I didn't, there would be no chance to get surgery or to leave because I would be... in a state that made either of these actions impossible (I would be dead or too sick to do anything).


What you mean ? Smoke/lifestyle yourself to death or something ?
It seems a bit as you're saying that you first have to find some inner peace, and then maybe, just see what is around the corner.


Did I suggest letting go of hope ? Strange

Anonymous said...

Psychopathy <-> Dominance (by any means, except from rationality :p ), which again is pretty equal to need to control

Some people, they just don't get it unless one use the same tools..

Empathy ? I guess that would be a sociopath. A fraction of empathy still left. Then some huge dose of sadism. May be similar to one or two of those bombers. It does sound a bit more in the gates of sociopathy

Hormones and pain tolerance. I hear every once in a while persons are born that practically cannot feel pain. Not close to what the average person does. Any suggestion how they develop (I'm not one of those. Could have been an advantage a few times).

(I'm just thinking loudly. I reckon that you Zhawk, has a lot more knowledge of facts, data, studies..)

Anonymous said...

And we have all the branches of Buddhism. I'm not sure if what you mention has any ties to Buddhism, but I studied Buddhism for a while when I was a lot younger than I am now, and I eventually had to realize it wasn't for me and I couldn't believe in the teachings.

Yeah. In general it is a hell of a lot nicer to give a hug, than to bend a spear as these guys: http://english.caixin.com/2012-11-02/100455819.html

Must say though, that what they can do, is extremely impressive

Anonymous said...

Dominance, for the sake of.. dominance..

:p

Empathy wouldn't go to well together with such a cause.

Dominance or control mostly for the pure purpose of dominance -> Psychopathology .... Outward

Dominance or control for reasons like security -> Neuroticism .... Inward

Anonymous said...

Hi, Zhawq. I've commented here before, leaving a link to a questionnaire. I've done a preliminary analysis of the data (n=30). You seemed interested, so I'll sent you an e-mail with a link so you can access a brief description of the results and more info.

Anonymous said...

Anon, not all psychopaths have an above average IQ. That's not the biological basis of psychopathy.

Anonymous said...

I also want to remind that the questionnaire is still open (this are preliminary results), in case someone wants to answer it (it's short and you should answer only if you're diagnosed/accessed professionally and if you were abused as a child)

Anonymous said...

Zhawq, I'll send you another email with an updated link to a more complete summary of the results.

Anonymous said...

Someone I know who I would ordinarily regard as my friend has just entered prison under a long sentence. I was pretty certain for much of the year I've known him that he is unable to care about anyone other than himself, but was led astray by his smokescreen assertion that he suffers from Aspergers. As soon as I reviewed Aspergers information to send him, I realized clearly that he is a psychopath. He regards all his acquaintances as functional objects to him he can manipulate socially to serve his purposes and not as friends. His intelligent is extreme, but he has spent the better part of his life in extreme risk-taking and subverting it and his talents in single-minded effort to achieve a self-indulgent goal no one can possibly achieve or sustain without ending up where he is now. Still, he is a unique human being, and while I do not condone his behavior, I cannot altogether abandon him in his troubles. He was arrogant enough to believe he would never be convicted; much less imprisoned and he made no preparations to face prison. For the first time, I see him utterly serious and bleak almost to the point of being unable to speak despite the habitual articulative persona he presents to the outside. I am not sure he is going thru "depression", but he is certainly struggling with some sense of "hopelessness" and lack of vision for his future. And, I ask if you have suggestions for how to offer any support to him or indeed know if "support" means anything to him?

Anonymous said...

Still a bit unsure whether your a psychopath or just a really pissed off way above average intelligent person, who in some hard moments in life turned to pure logic as the guiding star. Keep up your page though, when PC is back. You write very well.

But yes. I still think the common denominator for malignant narcs and psychopaths is very likely dominance for the sake of dominance. Is that really you Zhawk ? I am not so sure.

RB

Zhawq said...

RB,

I used to think about this myself...until I did extensive research. I still sometimes wonder, but when all is said and done I've been diagnosed, not once or twice, but three times.

I think it's safe to say I am an intelligent psychopath. '^L^,

Mewtwo said...

Hi Zhawq,
as a sociopath, the depression is what I go through a regular basis. Have you had a lot of contact with an empath prior to your depression? I find when Im around empaths happy with their lives, I find myself becoming depressed some time after.
I think some recent research findings on happiness may hold the key to this depression. According to one study, meaningful relationships with people are the key to happiness and if there is one thing sociopaths and psychopaths will never have in life, its meaningful relationships! We may like somebody even to the extent that we will not hurt him/her but we will never be able to trust and love with the intensity of an empath.
I also think this is the difference which should be given attention in the understanding of the sociopathic/psychopathic world vs empath world. Our emotional spectrum is just less intense than that of empaths, ie we feel good and bad emotions less intensely.
I've also come to believe that rage/anger is our subconscious mind's way of telling us that we will never attain the level of happiness of an empath. Hurting someone feels right because our subconscious mind tells us that we will never suffer like an empath. This can however be problematic to some sociopaths like me who can identify more easily with the empath world than psychopaths which could explain why some sociopaths do sometimes feel bad and are destructive at themselves.
I think being powerful is also what causes our downfall especially if you reach a stage like I have where I don't value reaching the top of the ladder as much as being in a trusting happy relationship(which will never happen).
Again I think it is more common with sociopaths to reach this stage than psychopaths because psychopaths are more curious and try to make more sense of the world around them than sociopaths. Psychopaths sometimes view people as extensions of themselves and losing a relationship has sometimes been compared to losing a limb.
This extreme to which psychopaths need to exert control I think shows that considerable differences exist even between psychopaths and sociopaths.
Funny thing I've observed is also how often psychopaths look down on sociopaths but that may be because psychopaths are often in higher positions of authority because they can better manage their impulses.
This is a bit of a long shot, but I would like some input from sociopaths in this blog about how they manage their depression. Hurting living things doesn't count lol

Anonymous said...

Hi Zhawk. RB

Did you notice Obamas position on the Bill Cosby matter ?

Obama denies to reclaim a medal given to Cosby, yet emphasize that sexual abuse was not acceptable.

In other words Obama is saying:

A person isnt binary. 1 person can do good, and he can do bad.

It is rather interesting. It there a new breeze coming up ?
Cheer up :) I hope you just enjoy life a little for the moment, being away and PC-less.

Zhawq said...

Mewtwo,

I'll reply to you most likely Monday afternoon when my new computer gas arrived and is set up and running.

Anonymous said...

Facial expressions!

"Recognized almost all words"

http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/

Tricky one

RB

Sangurex said...

Hello Zhawq! ^_^

This is unrelated to the topic but I'll ask anyway; Do you ever visit gore sites? I've been on many and scrolled through them as casually as I would in ifunny.com or slowrobot.com . I knew I was looking them up just for sadism, and I know that psychopaths are sadistic; Not "willing to go out of your way to harm" but sadistic nonetheless. But have you never desired to harm for no reason? Certainly, there is no grand difference between this and rape, wouldn't you agree? If you have, then have you never visited/frequented any gore sites just to maybe "get your rocks off"?

Anonymous said...

Hi again Zhawq - meant to say ..... lost to your Readers and "human rights" in general

Zhawq said...

Sangurex,

I don't consider ifunny.com or slowbot.com gore sites. They contain various kinds of humor, sometimes dark or even black humor, and sometimes they just have some words of wisdom phrased in an unusual way. Casual is a better word since they sometimes do present a sort of casually dark humor.

Quote: "Not willing to go out of your way to harm, but sadistic nonetheless." ... "Have you never desired to harm for no reason?"

I don't believe I have ever desired to harm for no reason. Everything I desire I desire for one reason or another, so it's not just harming that I need a reason for, it's every activity, every action.

What's more, I think the same goes for everybody else as well, I just happen to be aware and conscious about it.

An example: Most people sometimes experience meeting another person, someone they don't know and have never met before, yet they instantly feel antipathy or actual dislike towards the person. And they don't know why.

I have never experienced this. If I don't like somebody I always know why. Of course I sometimes meet people who have traits, physically or in mannerisms, that I don't care for, but unless there is some specific reason for me to particularly dislike this about them, it will just make me indifferent and I may tend to choose the company of others rather than theirs, but it will still not be out of dislike or antipathy, merely out of a difference in preference. - Maybe I find them boring, or maybe I just realize they and I have too little in common to get any fun or productive result from being in each other's company.

You can be sadistic without this being a force that drives your activity in general. For me there have to be elements actively present for that sadism in me to get triggered. If this happens and I know it isn't consensual, I either leave the scene or ignore the impulse.

I didn't do this always, especially not when I was younger, but I dare say I've been able to do it when necessary as long as I can remember. This means that in situations where I recognize factors that are more important than satisfying a sadistic impulse, I will re-direct my attention to get whatever is necessary and do what is in my power to achieve this.

That said, I have experienced a desire to do something mischievous if in no way harmful for reasons I to this day don't understand. This would happen when I was in my teens and early twenties, mostly. But that's another story.

As for rape, there are many reasons why people do this. I had my reason when I did it as a young dude. But that's for another article. I can say, however, that my reasons had nothing to do with sexual arousal. I was conducting a test.

I do frequent hardcore BDSM websites to "get my rocks off", as you put it. :)

I'm not into snuff, though, it does absolutely nothing to me, it rather irritates me because I think it's senseless, needless, and such a waste... of people with potentially wonderful talents and great future actions, and of course of good, consensual suffering.

Granted, the consensus can at times linger between consent and force, but only when thoroughly talked through and agreed on before the act....At such occasions almost lacking consent can occur as part of a progressive relationship between what in BDSM circles is called The Dominant and The Submissive (or The Master and His Slave).

'^L^,

..........
P.S. I will write a more in depth article about the subjects you have brought up, and hopefully it won't be too long before I do. But things have been taking place around here which have made it very difficult for me to be anywhere near as active or reliable as I have meant to be. But in time I'll be back one way or another, that much is certain.

Zhawq said...

Anon:

"Hi again Zhawq - meant to say ..... lost to your Readers and "human rights" in general"

Hi again, Anon. ... Not sure I understand what you're trying to say, but have fun.

Anonymous said...

The first comment before above (Hi again) seems to have been lost.
What I was trying to say is that I hope your health and current difficulties are soon over as I believe your writings are too valuable to be lost to your Readers and to human rights in general. You have been a great help to my peace of mind.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zhawq,

Why couldn't you believe in their teachings was it anything in particular to do with their teaching or you couldn't get any personal satisfaction out of it? Is there any "spiritual teachings" you sympathize the most? Gurdjieff seems like something that you would sympathize.

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 18 -15, 1:09 PM,

I don't place much faith in Gurdijeff. In my opinion he's another fad that is typical for his time. He was a 'spiritist', I'm not. I don't believe in dead people communicating with the living, at least not as a rule. It is so rare that you can almost say it doesn't really happen. Perhaps once, when we lived in small groups who's religion was devotion to their ancestors, but even then it wasn't :really" their ancestors their shamans spoke to, it was entities who took adopted the personality of the ancestor in question.

If I should speak of something that fits my beliefs the most if would be a mixture of the Japanese Shintoism; again, this is a "cult" of devotion to ancestors and entities taking their place - though this occurs somewhat rarely these days, at least as opposed to earlier times.

I would also refer to the philosophy of William Blake and even Nietzsche. There are others, but basically I can't really put myself into any box of belief system. I can only say that I have a philosophy based on my knowledge and on thinking that has brought me to logic conclusions, plus a few supernatural experiences and a secret year long teaching that made me capable of understanding what it is that happens when others believe they're seeing ghosts or meeting Jesus or an angel in a Near Death experience.

Zhawq said...

Anon Oct. 5 -15, 1.01 PM,

Thank you for your supporting words. People may not realize it, but it really can mean a lot also for a psychopath to hear something like what you have written here when they are standing with their backs against the wall, spending almost every second of their waking life at fighting the surroundings' clever ways of attempting to neutralize you - basically kill you, but without actually pulling a trigger, just by refusing you any means of access to medical or surgical aid that could make you a capable and functioning person.

I really do appreciate your gesture. There are times where I'm a the brink of thinking my fight for survival and what I fight for being able to do and do better than ever before, is an illusion, that the world may not be ready after all, and after all, I have already planted the seed and can see it grow in background and on the net here and there, but simultaneously I sometimes feel that I as a person is no longer needed so I might as well let go.

I would write more, but I have done something else... I've written an article in response to your comment, it's called: "How 'Good Psychopaths' Are Forced To Stop Telling The Truth" and is very easy to find. You just go to the front page ('Home') where my latest article will always be exhibited. I hope you'll find it useful - it certainly has some pretty important info.

Thanks again, and until next time... '^L^,

M. for mellow... said...

You can't let go of a need. If you could let go of it, it wouldn't be a need. But you can let go of false needs, and there are a lot of those floating around.

---------

What was posted above, I totally disagree with -- at least partially. You CAN let go of a need. Just because you let go, doesn't make it a false need. Going along this same line of thinking, the only real needs are food, water and shelter. Everything else is a false need. yes or no?

There are many types of needs other than food water and shelter, that are not false and that CAN be given up. I used to act on many different needs in many different ways. I'm just not sure how honest I want to be here.

I am a sadist. I admit it and don't care what anyone thinks that reads this. I am what I am. One need I originally had was cigarettes. They were my first tool. They always held and still do hold a special fascination for me. But do I still actively look for willing victims to burn...? NO. I stopped, but the urge/need will never go away. It made me feel good and when something makes you feel that good, you continue. It was orgasmic to have someone willingly let you pursue them and hurt them. It was my sex. There are some sick people in the world, yeah? When I was about 20 or so, there was this older woman (40's), who would sit for hours while I burned her arms. I asked her once why she let me do it. Her answer was because she could not say no to me. She actually looked deep in my eyes and really saw me and saw what I was and did not run. Pretty powerful shit for a young budding sadist. I will never forget her or her looking in my eyes. Yeah, yeah yeah, nasty shit. But she was my first and I will always remember her. Everyone remembers their first. It's an unspoken rule.

But her answer is what fueled me for decades. Someone who could not say no to me was incredible. It was a rush, a high. The need eventually evolved from cigarettes to other things, but the main thing was I would not be told No. I escalated in many ways that I will not go into, as it is no ones business and I am not here to spill my guts. I am just trying to make a point. My need was to hurt, to control and I became adept. That's my point. To control/hurt was a very definite need.

Eventually I stopped. One day I just quit and decided it was enough. I was older. Things change. Life changes us. I will not say why I quit so don't ask me. But the need to hurt/control was let go of. Buddy, it was not a false need. It consumed me. It still amazes me that there are so many willing victims. Therefore, I think everybody serves a purpose in life.

Psychopaths are not these crazy killing machines out there looking to slaughter everyone they lay eyes on. Most people are absolutely safe. Just live your life. Life is what we make it and it ends when it ends. Eventually all psychopaths that don't get arrested give it up. Reread that sentence...The ones that fall back, get arrested. Age becomes a factor in the decision.

So what I'm saying, short of jail and having your need removed for you, does not make that need any less valid or false than the psychopath that chooses to give it up and pursue other things. Jail is not the validity check on whether the need is false or not. I have never been in jail and never plan on going. I gave it up. My choice. A valid need. One thing I do agree with you on is control. I still maintain the control in my life and I do have someone in my life, but I don't hurt them physically and try not to do so emotionally. I stay in check. I stay home, don't work, and am supported. I control the money, the bills etc... We have been together a long time, but they don't really know me either. I hide my true nature to avoid detection. I am invisible.

What say you to that?

Anonymous said...

"To my regret I even posted a blog comment once (not on my own blog, but that almost makes it worse) in which I stated that the very idea of a depressed psychopath made me giggle. .......................................................Maybe he reads this article, who knows. If he does, he now knows that his post wasn't for nothing even though nobody except myself replied or reacted to it at the time, and even though that reaction of mine was pure refusal to believe it could be true."

Zhawq, to my mind the above seems to point to some level of benevolence beyond zero.

Anonymous said...

I cannot recall well enough but I may indeed have been that psychopath stating that we can be depressed. I have experienced periods of depression, though I would suggest that it follows the same pattern as relationship connections and attachments....it is not as deep as with typical people and has the characteristics of our emotionality....that shallow and fleeting quality. It has been about associations, memories and perception of my environment times myself that triggers this depressed state. Typically people tell me how unhappy I look and I don't really feel anything emotionally at the time...but I can deduct there is a slight negative emotional mood at play.

Cheers, Jay