Friday, September 13, 2013

Questions About Disloyalty & Distrust - Part 1.


What happens if someone turns on a Psychopath and tells others about Secrets he may have Revealed to them during their relationship?

A Reader asked me some questions about this and I decided to publish my response in an article about the topic of how a Psychopath generally feels and thinks about issues such as Distrust, Disloyalty, and Betrayal. In the following two articles I'll tell you what I have to say about it...

I'm curious as to how a psychopath maintains an intimate relationship for any length of time, say 10 years, without it being figured out that the person is faking emotions, at least, in a Neuro typical way?

This is simply a question about habit, faking emotions become part of your automatic behavior, and sometimes we are more believable than normal people who really do feel the motions they display. Even 'secrets' that might otherwise reveal your nature depends a lot upon how you reveal them and what context you put them into.

If f.x. you say "I've committed murder", and when asked about how and why this came about you say "I did it as an experiment, I wanted to know what it felt like", any normal person will think 'this is not normal, there's something wrong with this man' and will proceed to become fearsome about you. Indeed, professing secrets in this manner will accomplish not more trust but less, because so few understand what psychopathy is and what triggers our reasons - emotional or otherwise - for deciding to follow an impulse to act (whether that action be 'Right or Wrong').

More, let's say, a person starts to catch on and doubt a psychopaths sincerity, do psychopaths feel anything about that when trying to be convincing? In other words, would this be disappointing?

Of course we feel something about it. It is disappointing when an effort you've made doesn't pay out. It always depends upon the person you're dealing with and the situation s/he and you are in, individually and together. Most typically you'll at first try and double your efforts, since when people begin to catch on to you and start doubting you it's usually because you've begun to slack in the first place, you've become sloppy and maybe even careless - a very human thing to do, by the way, and often the very reason why people get caught in all kinds of things from "Sloppy Cheating" to "Sloppy Serial Killing".

But sometimes there's no going back. You may try with a bit of Coercion, but if it's truly too late, if it was a beneficial or otherwise profitable relationship you'll become frustrated and annoyed, but if you realize you can't turn things around and there's no way to change it, you simply move on. This happens from time to time to us all, it comes with the territory of living life as a Psychopath.

Do you ever cry and if so, would it be the same feeling behind tears for you as with anyone?   Happy tears or sad tears?

I haven't cried to make someone believe me since I was child.

On one occasion that I remember, I was crying not because of sorrow or pain but because I was so angry and there was no outlet at the time. I was put in confinement and kept under strict surveillance, so it was my first lesson in patience. Otherwise, as a kid I was very good at crying when I could gain something from it. I was very manipulative, I used my ability to cry on cue for gaining advantages and to escape consequences when I was caught doing something that was forbidden. I'd cry both sad and happy tears if it helped my case.

When I entered Puberty Crying became harder and I used to wonder why. I later learned it has to do with the hormonal changes that boys go through (Male Puberty & Crying). I'm pretty sure my feelings, when I cried, were never the same as normal people's feelings.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Murder Does Not Change A Psychopath.


They say Committing a Murder will Change You. They also say Psychopaths Like to Murder people, that they Enjoy it find it Exiting and Stimulating. I've even been asked a number of times by people who haven't killed if it is true that once you've murdered someone you can't stop because the Act of Murdering gives you such A High that you become Immediately Addicted to doing it.

They also say that once you have killed someone you'll feel you have nothing to lose because you've crossed a 'final line', so murderers are capable of anything and will kill almost at random if they feel like it.

Well, whereas it does seem that normal people who kill tend to say it changes them - though not in the way suggested above (look here), none of it is true for me, you might even say quite the contrary is true.

I will try to explain...

Murdering people hasn't changed me. I'm still the same person that I've always been, and the same is the case for all psychopaths that I have met. The only thing I can think of in terms of change after having killed is that it made me realize it is neither addictive, nor wonderful or great, and this is something I obviously couldn't know before I had the experience. Killing didn't change my personality, it just added new knowledge to what was already there. I've always known I was capable of killing, but though having actually done this deed made a difference in that it gave me another and in a sense higher awareness about myself, it didn't change who I am.

As a consequence of not feeling any kind of 'rush' or 'high' from killing people, it should follow logically that I am also not addicted to doing so in any way or sense of the word. The very notion is nonsense to anybody but a very small minority of murderers who become serial killers. They're often addicted because killing to them is a sexually charged act (ref. Dennis Rader, to mention but one example).

As for feeling I have nothing to lose because I've killed, that simply wasn't the case. I've never felt there was nothing to lose because I killed, on the contrary I felt there was a whole lot or work in front of me to get past the obstacles that comes with being a known killer. And I was willing to do that work, I was even interested because it represented to me a chance at doing things differently in the future.

Yet I now feel exactly the way I'm expected to: I feel I have nothing to lose. But it wasn't any crimes on my part that caused me to feel this way, it was the acts of indirectly attempted murder by normative society who has broken all the rules and laws it so eagerly force upon everybody who happen to not be part of the Official Law Enforcement Powers System. What "changed" me, or rather what made me realize I don't have anything to lose, is finding out just how right I was to begin with as a kid and a young teen who didn't believe in anything anybody promised or told me unless I could confirm it myself first. I was right back then - I've got plenty of proof over the years - and I'm just as right now. But I was wrong during these past one and a half years while I actually thought it was possible that they would live up to their side of the bargain.

I know that I can't rely on the authorities to help me if I call for assistance when someone tries to kill me, tries to steal my property, or tries to rape my woman, or in any way tries destroy, damage, or take away something that I own. So I just might end up having to do what I thought was over and done with, because I'm not about to sit idly around when crimes are committed against me, no matter how much the authorities sanctions such acts....unless I manage to get my funds back up in time so I can leave this place and get a decent life somewhere else, because fairness on behalf of those who demand everybody else behave "fairly" (read: obediently) is certainly not going to happen here, that much is more than clear.

But it's not even just me, at this point I guess I find some sense of pleasure at witnessing how dreary and emotionally painful lives people around here live. It's really no wonder that this state consistently has the record for having one of the world's highest annual suicide rates throughout the century. However, I do not plan on killing anybody again, nor do I plan on killing myself either, but even though for the time being I can't defend my Human Rights or my belongings, I WILL Defend My Life if I have to.

.....

There is one exception to the rule that Committing Murder Does Not Change A Psychopath. If the psychopath gets killed as a Consequence of having murdered, you can say that would make him Change Profoundly. It is the Ultimate Change for anybody and the Sentence we all must endure as a Consequence of having Committed The Act Of Living.