Friday, October 25, 2013

The Psychopath, The Stranger - A Song.

I Dedicate this Article to All of You out there Who Have had an Unfortunate, Perhaps even Traumatizing, Encounter or Relationship With a Psychopath, but Who Haven't Yet Condemned All Psychopaths Completely.

A Reader sent me an Email and Asked Me if there was A Song that I Would Suggest for her to Listen To. With this Request she Inspired me to find and send her a link to 'The Stranger Song' Video by Leonard Cohen and I eventually Decided to Publish this Small Article and include the Lyrics. I therefore want to also Dedicate this Article to Her*.

All Other Readers and Guests at Psychopathic Writings are of course equally Welcome to View and Listen as well as leave Comments.

Leonard Cohen:
The Stranger Song

Is it true that all men you knew were dealers
who said they were through with dealing 
Every time you gave them shelter 
I know that kind of man 
It's hard to hold the hand of anyone 
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender, 
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender. 
And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind 
you find he did not leave you very much 
not even laughter 
Like any dealer he was watching for the card 
that is so high and wild 
he'll never need to deal another 
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger 
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger 

And then leaning on your window sill 
he'll say one day you caused his will 
to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter 
And then taking from his wallet 
an old schedule of trains, he'll say 
I told you when I came I was a stranger 
I told you when I came I was a stranger. 

But now another stranger seems 
to want you to ignore his dreams 
as though they were the burden of some other 
O you've seen that man before 
his golden arm dispatching cards 
but now it's rusted from the elbows to the finger 
And he wants to trade the game he plays for shelter 
Yes he wants to trade the game he knows for shelter. 

Ah you hate to see another tired man 
lay down his hand 
like he was giving up the holy game of poker 
And while he talks his dreams to sleep 
you notice there's a highway 
that is curling up like smoke above his shoulder. 
It is curling just like smoke above his shoulder. 

You tell him to come in sit down 
but something makes you turn around 
The door is open you can't close your shelter 
You try the handle of the road 
It opens do not be afraid 
It's you my love, you who are the stranger 
It's you my love, you who are the stranger. 

Well, I've been waiting, I was sure 
we'd meet between the trains we're waiting for 
I think it's time to board another 
Please understand, I never had a secret chart 
to get me to the heart of this 
or any other matter 
When he talks like this 
you don't know what he's after 
When he speaks like this, 
you don't know what he's after. 

Let's meet tomorrow if you choose 
upon the shore, beneath the bridge 
that they are building on some endless river 
Then he leaves the platform 
for the sleeping car that's warm 
You realize, he's only advertising one more shelter 
And it comes to you, he never was a stranger 
And you say ok the bridge or someplace later. 

And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind ... 

And leaning on your window sill ... 

I told you when I came I was a stranger.

I do Not Claim that Every Psychopath has a Good Person hidden Inside or that we merely Need People's Love and Patience and Understanding (it Would Be an Obvious Lie), but I do Mean To Say that Not all Psychopaths Aim to Victimize and Hurt, indeed Some of us Intend to Do quite The Opposite.

Sometimes a Psychopath will be Initially Hoping for a Relationship that Functions well, but will Change Focus and Revert to Self Gratification when he Finds the Situation doesn't Live Up to Expectations. But Some Psychopaths Will more Often Leave in a Gentle Manner and without Willfully Hurting or Creating Unnecessary Pain and Long Term Problems as Results of Their Involvement with and Presence in the Other Person's Life.

* Name with held with respect to privacy.


Illuminance said...

I always make the attempt to teach people how their emotions blind them whenever I have the desire to openly manipulate them, because it really is like a game when I'm bored. I dislike ignorant empaths, and I have no respect for them, as it would be undeserved.
I get my fun, and I give a full break-down on how to recognize and avoid that manipulation in the future. Win-win.

Anonymous said...

"Sometimes a Psychopath will be Initially Hoping for a Relationship that Functions well, but will Change Focus and Revert to Self Gratification when he Finds the Situation doesn't Live Up to Expectations"

I honestly expected that this article wouldn't be interesting at all but you've surprised me again. Id have to say one thing in most cases where a relationship falls short. I leave the person in a the state that they were in when I met them. That's because I build everyone up who I allow around me but once I'm ready to leave you are no longer fit to sport that new found confidence I helped them achieve. Most times when I pass the individuals I have brought up and broke down they give me this same look I cant quite understand.

Anonymous said...

Do psychopaths feel anything „positive“ towards people who have helped them? When someone loans them money, takes care of something, saves their life (unlikely, but could happen), supports them getting a pay rise, etc? Does it make psychopaths feel gratitude, respect, good-heartedness, etc?

Or does everything come down to business, competition and survival?

Anonymous said...

Dear Zhawq,
It is really sad that some individuals continue to have a poor opinion of empaths. I am an empath and proud to be one! At least I would never allow anyone to feel unwanted or treat them in an unjust way. I am curious to know what the last two bloggers situations were like as children?? Were they abused in someway or another? Are they psychopaths or sociopaths? I have the ability to understand what it is like to be in someone else's shoes because I was born that way. Sometimes our past can lead us to poor choices and if you had terrible circumstances in your life, I am sorry. Someday when you become ill and need someone to care for you, it just may be the empath who cares for you and will not leave your side. We are very loyal individuals and will stay by a person's side till the end. We are the teachers, social workers, and Hospice Care workers of the world. As you can see we all serve a purpose in this world and it does not give you the God given right to hurt an individual in anyway. God created us all equal and with wonderful qualities which we can use for the good of mankind. I would prefer to stay open-minded and learn about others so segregation will never be a part of humanity again. I choose to be educated and allow vulnerability since it allows me to love and be loved. I will never tell someone I have no respect for them. I may not agree with certain choices people make, but I am not here to judge nor should you.......!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful job choosing that song, Zhawq. It hit home for me. The psychopathic man I was involved in hurt me the most the times he said we got along so well for two "strangers." I couldn't understand how we were strangers...and yet soul mates?!

"And then taking from his wallet

an old schedule of trains, he'll say

I told you when I came I was a stranger."

That song captures it perfectly, and has filled me with a sadness that is somehow more bittersweet than bitter.

Anonymous said...

OK, my bittersweet moment has passed and THIS is the song I suggest for your reader:

"Magic Man" by Heart; Ann and Nancy Wilson


Cold late night so long ago
When I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
I never seen eyes so blue

You know, I could not run away it seemed
We'd seen each other in a dream
Seemed like he knew me....he looked right through me....yeah

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"you don't have to love me yet, let's get high awhile

But try to understand...try to understand
Try, try, try to understand.....I'm a magic man"

Winter nights we sang in tune
Played inside the months of moon
"Never think of never..let this spell last forever"

Well, summer lover passed to fall
Tried to realize it all
Mama says she's worried..growing up in a hurry

"Come on home, girl" Mama cried on the phone
"Too soon to lose my baby yet, my girl should be at home"
But try to understand....try to understand
Try, try, try to understand..he's a magic man, Mama...ah...he's a magic man

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"I cast my spell of love on you, a woman from a child"
But try to understand...try to understand..
Oh...oh....try, try, try to understand....
He's a magic man....oh....he's got the magic hands

Anonymous said...

In all actuality unless I'm looking for amusement I don't seek to harm anything. An obvious exception to that would be if it's a danger of some sort. I have no hatred toward empaths, or any other living being. I do not seek harm it's just I side affect of my own ambitions.

If your uncomfortable about my statements about leaving people in the condition I met them, Can you really blame me? It would be like I never entered their lives in some respects. Where as I'm sure there are some out there that wish complete destruction upon leaving.

My childhood wasn't too uncomfortable. I can only think of few moments of actual abuse in the early development stages admittedly only one that could have nasty effects on a persons psyche. Also i'll have to admit torture wasn't the intent, it was still brutal merciless and my only option at the time was deal with it and wait for it to be over. Not seeing this as torture I grew up years thinking nothing of it and in turn nothing seemed brutal or harsh. I don't believe peoples words because you and always read past them when they lie, and once someone lies to me they're not fit to be near me or must be punished. It doesn't seem bad to me I'm just trying to say it in words you understand and also I wanna hear Zhawq's input. I actually enjoy hearing people say I benefit them, but only if it has no negative effect on me....

Anonymous said...

I wish I was a psychopath sometimes. Everything must be so easy when you don't have emotions and morals influencing your thoughts. You can do anything or go through anything and not feel a thing. Is life easy for you Zhawq, compared to empaths anyway?

Anonymous said...

Dear Prime,
I am sure you do benefit people at times, but I do not see people as amusement. This is the part I find disturbing. For me I find good company enjoyable. Enjoying one's company is different than talking about a person as if they are object. Were people just like you. You mentioning people not being truthful to you, but have you always been truthful? If not it is the pot calling the kettle black? I am sure you can be a nice person when wanting to be just like anyone else, but for me I really try to treat people equally.

Anonymous said...

"I wish I was a psychopath sometimes. Everything must be so easy when you don't have emotions and morals influencing your thoughts."

You would think so, wouldn't you? But I suspect Zhawq only has a different set of problems than others have.

Being in the Slammer for many years, and then in and out of forensic psychiatric wards as mandated by the state, is one of them.

Zhawq doesn't have it any easier than anyone else, and dare I say he has it harder than most, in some ways. He's not the "easy-breezy cover girl" (are you, Zhawq?), perpetually refreshed due to an easy life thanks to a lack of morals and emotions. It's no elixir. It's more like 6 of one or a half-dozen of another.

Illuminance said...

I merely have a poor opinion of anyone who allows themselves to be controlled, either by others or by their own emotions. They are not my intellectual equal.

My childhood was spent bouncing between zero-tolerance psych institutions for behavioral issues where I was a test subject for medications, and foster homes whenever my mother wanted a break from unconditional love. I was in special education for my behavior from K-9 that deteriorated my gifted advantage to average or just below. Two felonies at age 13 with plea deals that still manage to cripple my interests over a decade later. Oxygen deprived during birth. Stopped sleeping more than 2 hours at a time at 9mo for unspecified period. Had a major concussion at age 7.

The psychologists at the institutions told my mother that I was a sociopath and would probably need to spend the rest of my life in one of them. I don't know which type they were referring to, because they never formally diagnosed it on record.

How was your childhood?

Anonymous said...

My childhood was not a perfect picture, but I was not in any hospitals. I was subjected to a narcissistic father who beat my mother. I was kept home from school so when my father came home he would not bother my mother. I missed many days of school so having friends was impossible. My mother was a bit controlling to my sister and I. My mom was a clean freak. It was how she kept control. We were not allowed to make a mess or I would pay the price by being beaten with a paddle or fist. I vowed to myself that I would never hurt another human being the way I was. I became more of an empath to survive. I could gage how to stay out of the way. I learned quickly how to read their moods. I became a mother at the age of 20 and had a beautiful daughter that saved my life. I do have other children and I love them with everything that I have. My point is that everyone has had a battle, but there are other ways to deal with the pain you have endured. Your opinion of equality is yours to have, but since you know what pain is like, why would you want others to suffer? It is not their fault. Bad things happen to all people and we learn from those experiences. If I had been your mom I would have done things differently.......I wish you much happiness for the rest of your life.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add a comment about not letting yourself be controlled about emotions. You say the ones who let their emotions control them are not your equal, but your anger controls you which is an emotion. You are no different!

Anonymous said...

" You mentioning people not being truthful to you, but have you always been truthful?"

Out of respect to some individuals I attempt to be truthful. Sometimes I'm put in the position where I have to lie but not for the sole purpose of deceiving, more to avoid a particular out-come. Occasionally I tell people what they want hear, working with people who think positive of you just goes better.

I make it known I respect the truth more then opinion, other people don't, I'm allowed to lie to them

Anonymous said...

I believe we all have told a white lie at some point. I understand what you mean by protecting some individuals. For example I have children and I tell the tales of the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny because it is a part of how I grew up. I would like to share this part of my culture with them, but there really is no tooth fairy. I do not lie to my friend and tell them a piece of clothes looks nice when it really does not because I want them to look nice. There is a difference and I do see your point. I just think sometimes how we present something can make a big difference.

Anonymous said...

"I just wanted to add a comment about not letting yourself be controlled about emotions. You say the ones who let their emotions control them are not your equal, but your anger controls you which is an emotion. You are no different!"

I'd agree anger is an emotion and it has the ability to cloud judgment, but if the purpose in saying that was to get him empathize with you... you didn't get the concept of his last post.... he can not empathize or doing so seems useless to him its the message of those words

Unburdened said...

Perhaps some of you will relate/see this song as relevant.

Illuminance said...

I can control my anger now, and haven't physically hurt anyone for the past 14 years. I still feel angry, but I think of the consequences of my short-lived bloodlust.

Laura Potter said...

Hi Zawq,
I'm still following your blog.
And you're about the weirdest 'person' I've ever 'met', and honestly I wish I'll never meet you.
But damn, one has to follow the path of a stranger to learn something, to enrich one's view on people, and the world. To listen and learn, quietly.
That's why I don't (like to) comment on your writings.
Then I think 'yeah, he'll give an answer on my question, sooner or later ;)'

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Happy Halloween Everyone!!

Anonymous said...

I liked this song a lot better.

Anonymous said...

You disappeared. Hope you are ok....?

Anonymous said...

"You disappeared. Hope you are ok....?"

He's fine. Do you notice how your comment is not published right away? It's cos Zwaq has to review it first, and then OK it and then publish it. Zwaq is tough. Every time we think he has disappeared, he reappears.

Thanks, Zwaq, for reviewing this comment and publishing it! You are truly a Good Blogging Citizen. Many, many warm and sincere blessings to you.

Anonymous said...

You post these responses at very random times. Do you not sleep well?

Anonymous said...

How do you know he is fine? Do you know Zhawq personally? I did not ask you for an answer. I asked for Zhawq to answer. I know Zhawq oversees the responses and I do not need for you to tell me. You may need spell check by the way...

Anonymous said...

He's fine. I just know, that's how.

Do I know him personally?

Does anyone???

Anonymous said...

You must have a crystal ball and yes I believe someone knows him.

Anonymous said...

Very Nicely put Zhawq. Perfecto.

"I never meant for it to ever spoil - but flies will lay there eggs"
Marilyn manson

Anonymous said...

"You must have a crystal ball and yes I believe someone knows him."

Is there anyone to know?

Zhawq is a gracious host, to be sure, but don't forget what he is host to. He writes so others can understand Psychopathy.

And he does a damned good job of it.

The truth is here, but it's seldom in the words. More often it's between the lines, between the words. You've got to be smart to see it. Smart as Zhawq, or you'll miss it.

I believe there is someone to know, but that he is not at all who you think he is.

But if you were willing to know Zhawq for who he really is, you might learn something. You might be astounded, even. You might have your reality tested like you could never imagine. You might question everything you ever knew about anything, and then decide you never knew anything at all.

When you stay on the surface, you'll never go down the rabbit hole, down to where the truth lies. This blog is a portal to another world, to a parallel universe that most will never be able to understand.

Anonymous said...

Do you care for this person you dedicated the song to? What made them special to you?

Anonymous said...

Still waiting for an answer...? Do you care for her?

Anonymous said...

Cat got your tongue? LOL