Friday, April 20, 2012

I'm Your Man! - And You Better Believe It!

This is basically about psychopaths and our (in-?)famous talent for Seduction. It is often said that psychopaths can portray or become anyone that a possible 'victim' wants or needs them to be, and I'll say that this is probably one of the more accurate, true descriptions of the talents most psychopaths have - myself included.

I came across the video above while I was looking through videos with and by Leonard Cohen on Youtube, and as I listened to this number for the first time in years - I hadn't heard it since long before I began my Psychopathic Writings shortly after my release little more than 3 years ago - it hit me that the number would be perfect as a presentation of that one among the most commonly experienced aspects (though clearly not one of the most commonly described) aspects of what a psychopath is also capable of doing, and one which we quite often will do.

I'm talking about the ability of impersonation. Especially in situations when I'm courting a non-psychopathic person (many scholars and researchers refer to it as the psychopath having 'hunted down new prey' and maybe that he is now playing with his victim, 'true to his nature as the inter species predator of the human race').

In my personal experience there is no single opinion of such an encounter with a psychopath who plays the part of what is the partner's perfect lover (though this is often not conscious to them and the information is picked up subtly and indirectly). This is something psychopaths are often very good at, though you can't assume anybody is a great lover just because they're a psychopath. There are insensitive and dumb individuals among psychopaths too, people who can't pick up even the most obvious cues and who often don't really care to do so anyway. But those are not the ones we'll talk about here.

I have heard many a lament about neurotypical men being terribly bad at Courtship or seduction. And there's no denying that psychopaths in general - when they really make an effort at this - are generally better at The Art of Seduction than are most normal folk.

I think some of the explanation for this can be found in the psychopath's ability to give his subject (or victim, if you will) his complete and whole attention. People like myself do rarely feel the need to elaborate about our own lives and pasts - unless the subject for our courtship is in the mood to be spoon fed some seductive lying. I can be quite eloquent during such moments and have in the past produced some intriguing, fantastic lies when it took me. But I do prefer to be the gentleman and not force such self-centered stories upon a lady - or a gentleman, for that matter (though I would be lying now if I claimed any expertise in that area) - who doesn't show specific interest in 'hearing me talk about my life'.

I have emptied quite nicely packed bank accounts of women who, when later our paths accidentally crossed again, send me a knowing, flirtatious smile. I have revisited a few 'darling subjects' as well, but I have of course also had the sometimes inevitable heated emotional crying and begging switched and turned into shouting and accusing me of all sorts of things, sometimes even accusations to which there was no truth (yes, neurotypicals too aren't perfect).

It's fun when being 'Your Man' can take place under more glamorous circumstances, it gives the whole thing a more adventurous and even romantic quality. But many of these encounters does in reality take place in business related settings or at 4 star hotels - not the French Riviera or celebrity frequented 5 star hotels in Beverly Hills. Some take place at 3 and 4 star restaurants, or even at bars - not at penthouse suites and casinos in Las Vegas or Monaco.

However, some of the dynamics remain the same where ever your excursions and hunting take place, though the types of surprises you can come upon can in some ways be very different depending on the amount of money as dispose to the subject and the level of familiarity with a life in luxury they are.

For what I would call obvious reasons I will at times build a relationship with someone I've found interesting and useful. And it invariably leads to various levels and expressions of bitterness towards me when I finally leave to pursue new experiences and opportunities. No doubt some of these ladies, some of these girls and playmates, have eventually decided I was victimizing them - even when I hardly made any effort to influence them psychologically - something I admittedly had a weakness for doing.

To me Mind Games (playing games with somebody's mind - also called Psychological Manipulation), preferably in conjunction with sex, though not necessarily always at the same time, holds a very special attraction and excitement to me.

Such is the nature of life: Things start out as nothing, then become something, something becomes more and something else, and it all eventually becomes a lot of things. We can't always control everything that happens around us... or, few people can control much if anything, whereas some can control a lot. Nobody, however, can control everything, that's just the way it is, and if we can't find at least some pleasure in uncertainty, in taking a chance now and then and living life a little dangerously from time to time, then we're doomed to become even more powerless than necessary and will end up as pawns in the pockets of the powerful few. We can then watch our weekly soap opera where beautiful, rich people seduce even more beautiful, rich people.

For me it is just not in my nature to let others have all the fun!

I'll rather Be Your Man than have your neighbor be so (let him do his dog - or something). ;)

I am good at entertaining people who are looking for adventure, who wants to encounter something new and exciting - maybe even something marvelous - and who is seeking adventure where they will have to lose that everyday control which for too long has ruled and controlled them rather than the other way around. A predictable, suffocating everyday life which sneaked up upon them, stole and hid the key to their happiness. And now that key is gone because they no longer take chances - unless they decide to give it another try and let me find that key for them.

Perhaps you are such a person? Perhaps you too are tired and weary of a monotonous existence, you have decided that you deserve to live too, and now you're looking for some adventure in life?

Yes, some end up feeling they've become victimized and controlled by me, but far from all feel that way. If they did I would not be able to make it in the world. A person with psychopathic traits who cannot retain himself and behave normally most of the time, will end up either in prison or as a very poor person because he'll lose all of the trust which is so crucial to us.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Psychopath & Psychiatrist - My Truth. (Part 1)

I really like this video. The interviewee, Richard Kuklinski, also called 'The Iceman', tells without drama and without adding unnecessary or untruthful details(1*) about his work as hit-man for the mafia. Much of his testimony is about his emotional life which he is fully aware is different from that of normal people in essential ways. Everything Kuklinski says is exactly how I've experienced the same things.

So for me it was a very nice experience listening to and watching Kuklinski talk. And I know he is telling the truth, about killing, about observing someone dying and the details concerning making it happen - and about his emotional life, how they are different from other people's and some he has never experienced.I know, because he is describing my experiences and my emotions.

This in itself just blew my mind because I've heard others - others who fit the psychopath profile - speaking with honesty, but usually there are several discrepancies as well as differences from how I experience things, and I don't remember anybody who didn't once give in to the temptation of adding some "less true" details to something they describe, especially when they know they have the listener's attention and get carried away.

But not Kuklinsky. Kuklinski is certainly different, at least in the interview above here.

I can understand why he got his nick name 'The Iceman'. And I could see - especially at the beginning of the interview - that he was aware that he had a reputation to maintain. But it soon became apparent to me that the real man is nothing like 'ice' and nowhere near unemotional - yes, of course, from the perspective of a normal person he no doubt seems emotionless, but then so do many other psychopaths. Besides, unlike many psychopathic killers, including mafia hit-men, Kuklinski does not get a kick out of creating a show for the public frightening the interviewers and making themselves seem as scary and heartless as they are capable of. Kuklinski calmly tells us the truth, smiling or laughing only when it comes naturally. I can think of plenty of individuals that I've met for whom a reputation as being unemotional would be more fitting.

Some things I quickly noticed about Kuklinski are that he's intelligent and relaxed in his awareness that he has nothing to prove. I recognized his quiet authority from own experience in my interaction with people, also during incarceration, in how his interviewer behaves towards him. And I also recognized in him someone who is overall a friendly guy - when he can afford to be so - and there was that "lightness of heart" that I know so well and which I think of as a piece of my boyhood that somehow stayed with me in spite of the hardships of life.

I can tell that Kuklinski used to love to laugh - one of my own little childish things that also have lingered. It is a trait not all psychopaths have, but it has been noticed throughout more recent history and we see it captured for the future in cartoon magazines and movies in the form of 'maniacal' villains who will laugh a hideous evil laughter whenever he kills someone innocent, and the movie-goer knows he is present in a scene even when we still  can't see him because we are alerted by his 'insane laughter'. There is some truth to this stereotype, and I remember having had laughing fits when I was a kid and a young teen. I can recall it having happened at least twice as an adult too, though it wasn't when I was killing (then again, my experience with killing people is rather limited, being that I have killed 'only' three people in total, two of which I took at the same one event).

I believe Kuklinski has earned the nick 'The Iceman' in part because he became part of the mafia - an unusual achievement for a psychopath because the mafia is a highly social structure, both in regard to work and private/family life. I think it has to do with his intelligence and what I would call his maturity, and Kuklinski became widely known in the mafia connected underground, criminal and otherwise, because he had that much coveted ability to stay calm under pressure - yet a trait of his that I recognize on a personal level - also when things get heated around his own private-, social-, & working-, life, and all of which are intertwined more or less as being one and the same thing when you're member of a mafia family.

This brings me to the one area where there is a clear and big difference between Kuklinski and myself, and it is this: Kuklinski shamefully admits that he on more than one occasion did physically abuse his wife - and not just that, he did it in front of his children. Now considering the easy access he had to get aggressive outlets it seems needless to abuse your own treasured family too. I think that this part of Kuklinski's life actually most likely were a symptom of the constant frustration that it must have been for him to always have to be readily available for social interaction, both for his co-mafia members and co-workers, for his bosses, and for his family. I can think of no other reason why someone who otherwise seems to be not entirely unlike myself would behave like this, and when I think of this as the reason it makes a lot of sense.

In the interview I bring here, this man who is considered so tough, so unemotional that he has been given the nick name 'The Iceman', along with the reputation that comes with such a nick, did show an interest in learning, learning about himself, about life and humanity as such, and about what made him so different from almost everybody else, an interest sincere enough to entice him to not back down from telling the world about things which to people within his criminal, macho and antisocial community around the world, are sure to be considered weaknesses...

This man Richard Kuklinski, also called 'The Iceman' and considered by experts to be a very dangerous psychopathic murderer, with a very high score on the PCL-R, has the ability to spend 45 min. telling and volunteering sensible information about himself, and to during that time not once tell a lie!, something most of the same experts - who call Kuklinski a severely psychopathic individual - habitually and repeatedly claim that no psychopath will ever do, that psychopaths aren't be capable of doing... it's a statement which has brought more damage to the very research of the psychopath minority than we can even measure at this time.

  • I know Kuklinski told you the truth, because he told you about me!
  • I know that when Kuklinski told you there have been times where he would feel nervous and somewhat uncomfortable while watching people die under certain circumstances he was telling you the truth, because he told you this truth about me!
  • I know that he told you the truth when he told you about what you will observe when watching a person die (an expression of what looks like some kind of surprise, and the final expression you will see is a "blank" stare, as if the person is looking at nothing - not unlike how people look when they are 'lost in their own thoughts' or just "absent" for a short moment - provided the kill isn't carried out swiftly, in which case people don't have time to change their expression), because he told about me!        

(Part 2.) will follow tomorrow.