Thursday, April 14, 2011

Psychopaths Can Transform Ya!

I haven't watched the movie!... But let me tell you this:
I can Transform ya! And watching that Process is greater than any movie!

Whatever I say, however I bent it, the truth about charismatic psychopaths - of which I am one - is, that we do seem to have a certain mental power to influence people in many ways which others usually cannot.
It has been said about me that I can change people in ways so that they will never again be the same as they were.

I guess this is true about every kind of situation where two individuals get close to one another.

But in my case the change I bring about seems to be more profound, a deeper kind of transformation which has much more far reaching consequences.

I will no attempt to lie and say I haven't done this in ways that are less than beneficial to those I did it to. Especially - perhaps - for those who ended up dead because of it. And it is true, I have victimized people, I've done it many, many times. - But why?

Did I do it because I am evil and only find amusement in hurting others?

This is a common notion about psychopaths that I would like to counter, because as a psychopath myself who have met a larger number of psychopaths than most people normally do (due to the circles in which I have had my comings and goings over the years, and - not least - in the maximum facilities where I've done prison time), I know this is far from always the case.

Sure, there are those who have had such unfortunate upbringings that they've developed Antisocial traits beyond what is normal, even for psychopaths, and those are the ones we hear about in the media.

But in reality there're just as many of us who basically would enjoy just as much to have a good, a benevolent, impact upon those we come in touch with.

In my own case I believe unfortunate circumstances have brought with them a certain sense of bitterness, which has led to my tendencies towards victimizing people. But there is no question in my mind about it being also a fact, that in periods where I feel content and satisfied, I tend towards trying to influence people in a positive way.

And furthermore: I have done so on several occasions!

Again, those occasions do not figure on my crime sheet or in my journals... Well, maybe they do, but the descriptions always somehow get turned around so as to make it seem as if I've been harming every person that I've had an altering effect upon, if I've been harming even those people who themselves say that I've helped them, and who say I was the main force in making a fundamental change in them come about, a change which would not otherwise have happened.

The person who gave me the book 'Snakes in Suits' says - in his own words:

[Zhawq], you are the one person I've learned most from. I owe you my life, for you made me become like a new person. I no longer suffer from self doubt issues that used to hold me back and keep me from pursuing my life long goals of an education, and it was you who rekindled my wish to study my art, and I now see a possibility for success! In short, you have completely transformed me!

On days when I'm in a horrible mood such words don't mean a whole lot to me. But on more stable days I really do take pleasure in the fact that I have the power to create such an impact on other people's lives.



Anonymous said...

It takes profound people to make profound differences in the lives of others, if you ask me.

I think just considering yourself a 'Charismatic Psychopath' is selling yourself short. You're condensing your entire life and life lessons into a label to explain your brilliance and affect.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not playing kiss-ass here. I know exactly what you're talking about. I've had this kind of effect on quite a few people in my day too.

When you can see the worst and weakest in any person you come to know, you have the highest probability and ability to either build them up into something no one else could do, or utterly destroy them the same (and I'm not just talking death).

Anonymous said...

Zhawq - Great blog, your posts have become much more entertaining then what's posted on sociopathworld these days.

Zhawq said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zhawq said...


Yes, of course I have to agree that certainly not everybody can impact people in a lasting way, and certainly not in the lasting kinds of ways that I seem to do where ever I go. And it's not even always premeditated or thought through at all. That is, I can premeditate, I can plan and carry out devastating schemes, but I impact people also when I don't consciously intend to do it. And so I can only conclude it must be a profound part of me...

I know it's a profound part of me. :)

I wrote I count as a Charismatic Psychopath (it's in my diagnosis journal too), because psychopathy is the context of the article.

On the other hand, I hope that in my words there may be something visible that goes beyond the label 'psychopath'... despite the fact that we always hear we only are our masks.

In my opinion that is - not quite, but almost - bullshit. For every single psychopathic individual I have known, met, heard of, or seen, have gravitated towards certain types of masks. And they did so because those masks were the ones that completed their underlying 'self' or personality.

So who are we, us, the psychopaths? - I guess 'we' are too vague after all, we don't have a real, dominant and staying personality. But there is SOMETHING there, which might have been us - or me.

That's what I hope to bring forth in my texts, so that thereby... in time, as my readers get to know me... I may grow to seem less 'sterile', and more Zhawq!... ^L^


Thank you for your supportive words. I am pleased to find that you like my blog.

SociopathWorld... I'll agree that M.E.'s blog has very mixed quality. But personally I have found a lot of good writings by M.E., and sometimes when I think that day's article isn't very good or interesting, I'll look some of the older ones up instead. There's usually something I haven't read, or a good link I never looked up.

Then again, take a look at some of the older things I've written and you'll probably find I'm one of the worst writers you've ever come across (Come to think of it: Don't look at my older articles, they're horrible, lol).

Thanks again. - Finding that others like my texts inspires me to continue writing and try to do it even better!...

Samantha said...

Greetings, Zhawq:

I have enjoyed your views, perspectives, and positive attitude about a variety of subjects so much that I decided to post something.

I would like to ask you some things about my friend who has "charisma." In my opinion she seems to be bipolar/bpd/a bit narcissistic/flighty/devil may care/seductive. She is genuinely a charismatic person, according to me and all of our other friends. But she can't seem to get out of the funk of "self loathing" and being unsure of herself, especially when it comes to dating and pursuing personal goals.

Pursuing personal goals is where she has the most difficulty. ( Her whole life this has been what makes her feel like a loser! ) She says she doesn't pursue her dreams because of feeling so bad about herself all the time. It's as if she cannot stop getting out of her own way, and it has been holding her back from living a full life. She always feels it is within arms reach, but she is unmovable. (Sometimes she says she is lazy, but i think that is a cop out.)

She is a sad person underneath her "charisma" and feels bad about herself and says she is her "own worst enemy." I want her to appreciate all she has to offer the world, but she has trouble climbing out from underneath her rock. She's been in a never-ending funk most of her life. She cries often, even as she is being charismatic!

It is unique, sad and also very honest and lovely. We try to give her confidence, but to no avail. What can I tell this girl to give her more pleasure out of her life? She actually suffers from low self esteem and then hides it, and then feels confused and depressed. She has so much potential. One can only describe her as positive, giving, intense, mischievous -her friends seem to all think she has quite a bit of "crazy" in her, but a good kind of crazy. I would like to give her advice.

Oh, I think other regular posters have interesting perspectives, too! Public forums can be so informative.

Thanks for reading!


Anonymous said...

"Especially - perhaps - for those who ended up dead because of it" Well that is one good transformation, isn't it? Hilarious! Made me laugh

Prime said...

"On days when I'm in a horrible mood such words don't mean a whole lot to me. But on more stable days I really do take pleasure in the fact that I have the power to create such an impact on other people's lives"

It interest me to see this line because its exactly how I am. I enjoy control, whether it's viewed as positive or negative It doesn't matter to me.Impacting peoples lives means I can control their life. I have no moral preference for a positive impact, I choose to be a positive impact because like you said on days where my temperament is in check I actually feel I've accomplished a project.being a positive impact means targets tend to have a lot of emotional attachment to me. which comes in handy for anything I may want later.

I am not psychopathic ( at least diagnosed). I do believe the professional guidelines fits my description but then again what human being doesn't fit that scale to some degree.